What is the best way to conserve my soul?

I firmly believe that our soul is in our feces. I think each time we poop, we lose part of our life force, ATP, or soul. I would like to preserve my energy. Upon isolation of my feces, I think salting followed by a deep freeze would be the optimal preservation method. Do you think the ion concentration from the salt and extreme temperature change will damage the DNA? I know from my graduate work, that if you freeze cells too quickly the water in the cells can burst the outer membranes. Do you think salting then a slow freeze would be best? What would be the best salt to use? I was thinking a mixture of Ca(OH)2, NaCl and KI salts. Thank you.